dreams with you in it

we cut links 
to the chain fence of ebebezer church

a church turned insane asylum turned condemned

the steamy texas sun about to turn

our bare feet and glass

ankles cracked grey from sticky skin and dust

you folded your shirt up as a bag for bricks  

we gathered them to build a future for something

and you found a way to get them free

we had a plan 

you sketched it all out we cut links

i got scared

you looked

someone was watching us

we felt observed by the world

flashlights and televised

you let down your shirt slowly

bricks fell

your eyes caught mine and began counting

'one'

all my heat moved to my hands

'two' 

my bricks fell like boulders

'three'

we sprinted like it was for the rest of our lives

chased

i felt like i was flying

you anteloped along

shit!

i got tangled in the fence

we cut links

my shin grew cool

blood stained the bleached asphalt warm on my skin

i looked up from my leg

i saw you running almost gone

you looked back

i screamed my loudest

muted

still you stopped 

i saw you see me tangled

i tried to hide my leg

i insisted i'd be fine

that instant 

you switched body's with me

my voice wasn't working

i staggered 

your body was hard to use

your legs were too long

the dimensions were off

i walked away backwards

slowly

and starred back at my body 

with you in it 

trapped for seizure

cameras in action stay in action

two weeks.

what happens to a myspace account when people die?

it stays active inactively i suppose.

last log in.

last comment approved.

and we had coffee that day you stopped by my loft.

we drove aimlessly with ample intention.

we were on a mission.

food in the belly

food in the belly

my chipped vintage vamp nails

laughing and scattered and

we started into the stones.

i grabbed the angel from behind

your approval

and waited for the flash

you asked

'how long do you think it would be before you

found out i died, if i died?'

-immediately! i would know immediately.

insert giggle and i didn't ask back.

click.

i called that picture 'holding on for dear life.'

our little graveyard picnic.

and my pool party, you're funny little 80's swimsuit!

we promised not to throw eachother in the pool.

havaianas and your tattoos.

california. my green walls.

that three hour conversation on my drive to austin.

'you're never coming back to south carolina are you?'

-i might.

your dog drank from my grandmother's dish and

i reminded you, just as we would come to get him from my

loft, i would come.

i remember the letter you read.

your voice quivered and i just couldn't hear your sad anymore.

i wanted you to laugh again,

just for a second so i

changed the subject.

phone conversations get long.

you took your default picture down... i texted.

two weeks.

it took two weeks.

i found out today.

and i called your cell in disbelief.

disconnected.

cry.

you've disconnected.

suicide